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Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Ain't Science Wonderful

I heard on the radio today that eHarmony.com will find find a match for you using a method that is scientifically proven to result in meaningful, long lasting relationships. Wow.
Year in Review

"Consider this possibility: We were all trapped in the Matrix in 2003, and what we thought was reality was instead a mass hallucination piped directly into our brains, just like in the movie franchise.

Now all the nonsense makes sense. The Dixie Chicks were more controversial than Eminem, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California, Rush Limbaugh announced he's a drug addict, Kentucky Fried Chicken claimed to be a health food, and Richard Chamberlain came out of the closet."
--Phil Kloer in the AJC article "Weapons of Mass Distraction"

I don't have much time right now. As Jay would say, I have many made-up things to do. For example, I have to go to Caribou to write the last entry of my journal. I wrote the first entry of this journal on August 8, 2003 while sitting at the Bou and feel that it would be appropriate for me to conclude this journal at the Bou on a significant day of closure like the last day of the year.

However, before I go attend to this pressing business, I feel the need to reflect a bit on what I've learned this year. As usual these are in no particular order of significance.



1. Not everyone is as excited as me about Akutaq(Eskimo Ice Cream made of Crisco, mashed potatoes, sugar, and berries)
2. I will never be a professional quilter
3. Washing dishes is dangerous (I learned this last night--stupid knife)
4. Training for a marathon is as hard as one might think (and perhaps more boring)
5. Owning and maintaining a car is much more expensive than owning and maintaining a snowmobile
6. Personal finances still bore me to the point of being painful
7. Traffic is almost as mind-numbing and frustrating as running on a treadmill
8. I really do love teaching and want to get back into it (haha--will I still say that in April?)
9. It is better to pick up guys in a coffee shop of suburban Atlanta than in an isolated Native Alaskan village on the coast of the Bering Sea
10a. Although my plans for my life are exciting and good, God's are better
10b. Unfortunately, it is nearly impossible to discern God's plans for my life until they happen (which goes against my control-freak, type-A need to plan everything out--grrr...)

I'm sure I'm forgetting many of the exciting lessons I've learned this year, but I think that is enough for now. I hope y'all have an amazing 2004!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Olivia, Newt, and John

I know this is cheap (especially since I have already quoted from an email once today), but I just couldn't resist. I love to hear about misheard song lyrics...

From Uncle Toby:
I came across an article in the Portland newspaper a few years ago in which
locals had written in and confessed the lyrics which they used to sing while
caroling, or in church. Here are some highlights…

1. “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” : This is unbelievable, people. In the
first verse, which states, “peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners
reconciled,” one Oregonian reader used to sing, “peace on earth and mercy
mild, God***n sinners reconciled.” Hmmm. It's actually quite theologically
sound, yet involves swearing in church, which is typically not a good thing.

2. “Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer” : While it’s true that the last line of
the song actually reads, “You’ll go down in history,” one reader used to sing
“You’ll go down and kill Doreen.” Who says violence in the media doesn’t
affect children? Poor Doreen never saw it coming.

3. “Away in a Manger” : People, just to be official, the words read “the
cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,” not “the cattle are blowing the baby
away.” Again, violence in the media ... everyone please write your
congressman.

4. “The Christmas Song” : To quote Margie Boule, the writer of the article,
“No matter what the records sound like, let’s set this straight: chipmunks
are not roasting on an open fire, and Jack Frost is not ripping off your
clothes.” Another lady who wrote in said her son used to sing “chest hairs
roasting on an open fire.” Ouch.

5. “We Wish You are Merry Christmas” : Yes, we are all aware that some sort
of mystery pudding is described in this song. But the correct lyrics read,
“Now bring us some figgy pudding,” and definitely not “bring us some friggin’
pudding,” as one reader believed the song said as a child.


I could relate to this article because for many years I believed that Olivia Newton John was three people. Anyone else out there brave enough to share?


Joseph is the Man

This is one of the coolest stories I've heard in a long time. Background: for those of you who don't know, basketball is really big in Alaska--indoor sports are good in the winter. But it is more than a game. It is a community event. Every small village has multiple adult teams that travel to other villages by snowmachine for tournaments. Even I was on one of Tununak's three women's teams (affectionately referred to as the Tununak Leftovers). This story is from one of our teachers in Tununak. He is a rather tall kus'saq from the lower 48 who loves basketball, so he fits well in the village...

Something happened yesterday that has never happened to me before. Fans and players have been asking me to dunk ever since the Toksook five-day Christmas tournament started, so finally, at half time of the semi-final game, I did. "Ok, one dunk," I said, I usually do it once every tournament anyway. So all eyes in the gym were on me, hoping for some spectacular thrill, but we were all clueless as to what would be the outcome. I threw the ball up towards the front of the rim, jumped as high as I could, caught the ball in mid air and went for the dunk. I had to reach back behind me to grab the ball since my toss was a bit off. After grasping the ball, I attempted the two-hand slam. As soon as my hands grasped the rim for dramatic effect the entire backboard gave way in a loud crash and with a shower of shattered glass, down came the rim.
I was very disappointed, thinking I had ruined everyone's entertainment as I felt the fine glass chunks bouncing off my body. Silence overwhelmed the gym, dead silence. I thought I would be the most hated man on the delta that very instant. Suddenly, people started approaching with smiles, high fives, and cameras. Before I knew what was happening, the silence was replaced with a standing ovation! The rest of the game was played half court, which I felt terrible about despite assurances by all that everything was OK. Today we compete in the championship game, if the backboard gets replaced.
I think I might have to pay for it, but I am hoping all those people who were begging for a dunk will chip in. Between basketball, fishing, and traveling, my break has been non-stop excitement.
Best Holiday wishes to all!
Quinuilnguq


Anyone wishing to send donations for the Toksook backboard, send it to Joseph Cynor, General Delivery, Tununak, AK 99681.

And if you want to check out the weather through which Joe was traveling 30 minutes by snowmachine, looke to the left. Right now it is 1 degree with -11 windchill. Ha!
Pâté

Quotes from my cousin about pâté at an upscale wine bar in Vinings called The Grape
"I think it's moose liver."
"It sort of tastes like taco bell meat."
(quotes printed by permission from said cousin--thanks, girl, for entertaining me)

Monday, December 22, 2003

OK...had to do it. I added Morning Coffee to my blog list. She is just so funny and her spiritual reflections are beautiful.
News!

Although I haven't yet blogged about this, I have told everyone I know and even some folks I don't know, so why not tell random folks on the internet...My not-very-little, little brother got engaged about two weeks ago. Hehehe! Lalala! I'm very excited and love my future sister-in-law. Praise God that over the past two months she and I have finally become good friends (long overdue since they have been dating for six years). My contribution to wedding planning this past weekend was to print off the UGA football schedule for 2004 and mark which dates were off limits.
Cheryl for MVP

We had our Fourth Annual Winter Ultimate Banquet on Friday night. This was a rather informal event for our rather informal "league." I am exceedingly pleased that the MVP award went to a girl for the first time in our league's history. However, I am not yet satisfied; therefore, I would like to go ahead and officially kick off a "Cheryl for MVP in 2004" campaign. I'm not entirely certain what such a campaign should look like. It may involve simply telling Swami that it should go to Cheryl. Unfortunately, Swami will never see this blog due to severe internet-phobias. So I guess I'm just encouraging all of you who do read this blog to drop hints to Swami throughout the upcoming year...Yeah for Cheryl!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Holiday Cheer

"If you're stressed out by the holidays, then you're not doing it right."
--Sally

My very wise friend told me this last night as she described women who seemed to be getting way to bogged down in the details of holiday decor, giving, and entertainment. Today I feared that I might be doing it wrong as well. Although most of my shopping, gift-making, card-writing, and wrapping is done (and I actually enjoyed all of it), I felt my typical agoraphobic, shopping ennui begin to set in as I parked my car outside of Publix to buy ingredients for yet another finger food for yet another Christmas party that would involve yet another gift exchange. My eyes began to glaze over and every part of my body became tired as I began to trudge into the store thinking "salty or fruit" (as assigned by my last name) and also mentally trying to calculate how much I had already spent on such occassions and how much I would budget for this one.

As I walked through the doors I was greeted by particularly boistrous caroling as well as Kathy who was giving out free tastes of an artichoke dip that "could be served either cold or hot." It was yummy! Conveniently, she had both dip and crackers ready for me to throw in my basket. With an instant sense of relief, I headed to the check out where I found that the boistrous caroling was not from a new store-wide sound system, but from a choral group of about 15 adults who were having so much fun singing that I couldn't help but smile all the way to my car.

Christmas in the suburbs ain't so bad as long as you do it right.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

One more thing. I stumbled across an interesting (and regularly updated) blog the other day. Morning Coffee seems to be written by a modern-day domestic mystic. Her thoughtful musings are deeply spiritual as well as down-to-earth, poetic as well as humorous. My protestant brothers and sisters may not agree theologically with everything she writes, but you cannot deny the beauty of her reflections on God's love and presence.
Check out the weather in Tununak! Right now it is 7 degrees but feels like -8 there. Cool! Or...cold....
Rebel. Genius. Liberator...Man of God.

I went to see Luther at Madstone on Tuesday. Pretty good stuff. I love it when art of any form really pushes us to think critically or inspires us to reflect spiritually. We all know from history class that the Reformation was a key moment in history, but this movie brings to life what the "little German monk" faced when he stepped forward to confront the powerful Roman Catholic Church, the German emperor, and the whole world with the Truth of the Word of God and the salvation found only in Christ.

From what I understand the movie provided a fairly accurate account of events in Luther's life and was filmed on several locations throughout Europe. Although many reviewers found the subject and movie to be boring, I found it to be both interesting, thought-provoking, entertaining, and, at times, moving. Towards the end it seemed a bit disjointed and rushed as if the producers wanted to cram in as much as possible without making the film too long. But I was willing to forgive this because the movie spent plenty of time developing the part that really was more interesting to me--the events and struggles that led up to Luther posting his theses and standing up to the church in trial. I was impressed that the film seemed to balance the spiritual, theological, ecclesiastical, political, financial, and social issues that influenced Luther and those around him. Finally, I was pleased that the movie also does not hesitate to convey the gospel message that we really do have a loving, merciful God and that we are saved by faith in Christ alone.

So...um...I feel it necessary to comment on the lead actor--Joseph Fiennes. As if seeing him portray William Shakespeare weren't enough to make me fall in love with him, I have now seen him as Martin Luther. Romantic poet and wise theologian seeking the Truth. Pretty good resume. I think he will be added to Colin Firth and Johnny Depp as one of my all-time favorite actors. BTW, Colin Firth's younger brother Jonathan Firth makes an appearance in Luther as the less-than-savory Giralamo Aleander.

OK...back to more important and less shallow topics. The movie really was enjoyable to me, but I tend to like this sort of movie. It is not for everyone. Oh...and one more warning: although not everyone that I went with was in concurrence, I thought the dialogue in the love scenes was almost as bad as the romantic dialogue in Attack of the Clones. Again...willing to forgive because the rest of the movie was pretty darn good.

Luther prompted me to think about how blessed we are to have the religious freedom we enjoy. We take it for granted all too often how readily we have access to God's Word. Luther did not even read the New Testament for himself until he was well into his career as a monk, preacher, and theologian. Our right to religious freedom, our right to read the Word for ourselves, and the right to relate to Christ personally existed before Martin Luther. But he opened the door for us to more easily enjoy these rights. Many others risked their lives and died so that we could truly enjoy these freedoms and encounter the Truth of God's Word; unfortunately, there are many people in the world who still do not have this freedom or know this Truth. And many are still risking their lives to bring the gospel to those people.

I know that folks talk, write and blog about the need to pray for and reach out to the people who do not know or are unable to freely worship Christ, so I'll stop now. But I will leave you with a phrase used more than once in the movie: I am Yours. Save me.

The message of the movie and the gospel is that simple.

Monday, December 15, 2003

*sniff, sniff* *cough, cough* My computer has a virus, which means fewer posts for a while. I have to go to my folks' house to access the internet. :( Why are people so evil? Don't they have anything more constructive to do with their time like...oh, I don't know...keep a web log? Please pray as you feel led for the healing of my computer. Thanks!

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

LOL! Pretty funny stuff on Emerging Minister.
I added ESPN to my random links. I know it is a bit late now that football is pretty much over, but March Madness will be upon us before you know it.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Prepare the Way

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times." Micah 5:2

"And you, my child, will be called a
prophet of the Most High;
for you will go on before the Lord to
prepare the way for him,
to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising of the sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet in the path of peace.
"
--Luke 1:76-79

"Repent for the kingdom of heaven is near." Matthew 3:2

"Prepare the way for the Lord;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken."
--Isaiah 40:3-5

"'I am the Lord's servant,' Mary answered. 'May it be to me as you have said.'" Luke 1:38

"'The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel'--which means 'God with us.'" Matthew 1:23

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished." Luke 1:45

"Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Pleasantly Exhausted

I always knew I was a freak. I am crazy tired--you know that aching back, tense shoulder, stomach wrenching exhaustion of a full day/week when you are so busy that you forget to eat and occassionally notice that you need to breath and still know that there is more that needs to be done. But I love it! I know...I burnt myself out doing this last year, but I find it to be somewhat satisfying to cram so much into one day. It is now 11:30pm, I've been up since 6:30am and still have a good hour until I'm done baking a cake for a dinner engagement tomorrow evening. It was a good day and a good week. Am I weird to love this pace of life? I guess it would be different if I felt that it was all meaningless and pointless busyness, but it is all good stuff--working at jobs that I enjoy, having meetings and rehearsals for church ministry, and enjoying great times of fellowship with old and new friends. Good stuff. Man...I'm tired. I shouldn't let myself blog when I'm tired. I think there needs to be a coffee recency requirement before I blog so that I don't ramble about things that are even more boring than my usual posts.

Oh! News! Wayne is in town from England! Yippy!
'Tis the Season...

...to be shopping. Ah...the holiday season. I actually heard a reporter on the news yesterday say, "...so, if you're heading to the outlet malls, be careful. There is a possibility of ice on the roads." First of all, this statement confirms my suspicion that not only is shopping boring and stressful, it is also dangerous! This statements is also an interesting statement about our society. In Alaska, it took an entire half hour for the local news to do the weather report. Partly because the state was so large and had such a diverse climate, but also because survival depended on weather. Hunting, fishing, getting supplies and medical care, and flying or snowmachining between villages--all of these were vitally dependent on visibility, wind, temperatures, and precipitation. Our way of life was intimately connected to the extremely dynamic and harsh weather. And...I guess that's true here. Our need to...um...shop is also vitally connected to our weather. I also heard a commercial today that asked, "If you don't find shopping to be a totally exhilarating experience, then where are you shopping?" Interesting. Maybe that's my problem--I'm just going to the wrong stores. Unfortunately, the ad was for the same outlet mall mentioned by the weather reporter...

...to be working in retail. On a positive note, the holiday season makes retail much more fun. I thrive under pressure and enjoy the faster pace of working in retail at Christmas. Time goes much faster when you are busy.

...to party! December is a crazy busy time between working and shopping, but the real activity is in the evenings. I now have only three days still blank on my calendar before Christmas. Wow...I'm so popular (or at least my boyfriend is). The major downside to all of these parties is having to bring gifts and finger food. My decision-making disability makes shopping for these things an added stress.

Yikes...time to go sit in traffic! Happy shopping everyone!

Monday, December 01, 2003

"Normal"

I have an almost normal week by the standards of our society here in the suburbs of Atlanta. I will be working 9 to 5 (or 7:45-3:30) every day. I must admit that it feels good to get back to this routine. As much as I like the flexibility of my random work life, the simplicity and structure of a definite schedule is somehow comforting and satisfying. Am I a sell-out for buying into the conformity of this lifestyle? I don't think so... I enjoy what I do, I am content where God has me, and I feel both peace and excitement about my current career and its future. So 9 to 5 it is (or in the case of full-time teaching, 7:45am to whenever all the papers are graded). And for those of you enduring unpleasant odors and ongoing office space tedium at less than fulfilling desk jobs, I pray that I have the strength to blog more frequently for your entertainment (at least until you are freed to seek new dreams and opportunities). Have a great Monday everybody!

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